Friday, August 30, 2013

Lana Del Rey TANKS at Lollapalooza

Lana Del Rey is a popular singer who rose from the internet some time in 2011. She's sold millions of records, made billions of dollars, and toured the finest venues in the world. But could that stop her from TANKING at Lollapalooza? Miss Dell Ray found herself TANKING as hard as one could possibly tank for all of the Midwestern independent Music Fans who had made their annual pilgrimage to Grant Park in downtown Chicago, IL.
Sporting an 'abuela muumuu', popular in Hispanic communities, Del Rey never found the passion, spirit, wisdom, or prowess of an abuela. The singer was once considered a fashion icon.

Internet critics all over the internet are #cyberbullying the performance, inspiring a wave of 'think pieces' about gender, music, society, and the breakdown of the music industry.
Del Rey, 29, struggled to find her voice on stage. The crowd of rabid fans often outsung her, and continued to yell, "Lana" at her, despite her real name being "Elizabeth Grant." It was a dark day for Lollapalooza. The Chicago based festival hadn't seen a tanking this huge since failed rapper Donald Glover's tragic performance in 2011.
Del Rey even brought out the classic "Video Games." Unfortunately, fans wished they were instead at home actually playing their XBOX360 instead of being at a music festival. Do u wish u were there 2 sing with #LDR?

The only people with summertime sadness at the festival were people who had to see Lana Del Rey.

Most fans wanted to RIDE away from the festival after hearing so many lamestreamers singing Lana Del Rey songs.

An old bystander at the festival saw her headband and yelled, "Get off the stage, hippie." The same man went on to explain that Barrack Obama was 'not his President.'

It's a sad day for Lollapalooza and fans of music everywhere.
Did Lana Del Rey TANK?
Did u go 2 Lollypaleezee?
Do u wish u were there 2 sing with "Lana BB"?
Were 2 many ppl singing?
Is Lollapalooza some sort of 'cultural arts fair' for Midwestern ppl?
Remember these days/these cultural memes?

Lana Del Rey EFFING TANKS on SNL. Is her career 'effing over'?

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